We spent a lot of time in the pursuit of happiness. And a lot of time in the numbness and sheer effort of avoiding the pain in order to be happy.
Alcohol is one of the prescriptions, and something you can use for both occasions.
THe POH seems to involve a lot of romantic adventures. And alcohol. And what if you are rubbish at it? I am. The alcohol that is.
I have a glass of wine at dinner, I want to pad up stairs without brushing my teeth and drift off to a deep sleep with a gentle snore. If I am on my own that is. With the right company I become quite the energy bomb – I can leave my clothes strewn from the kitchen across the dinner table, up the stairs into the bedroom, and spend hours doing adult activities swigging from a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
Alcohol
A bottle of wine out with the girls, and I want to puke under the table, sway from side to side talking incoherently and having to be poured into a taxi with a friend cos I cant go home alone.
And the hangover, oh my god. I shudder at the recall. My world caves in the day after a few drinks. Pain, rumbling tum that will eat nothing but bacon and white bread and half inch of butter, with large sugary tea (I dont even have sugar)….. and miserable and staring at Hollyoaks wishing I was young and beautiful and tall and thin and blond, munching on grease and loving it.
I can feel the cringey feeling coming all over me when I think about how many times I have been left on the dancefloor stuck to a very unsavoury individual….. having to be peeled off and taken to afore mentioned taxi with a friend. I can hear me now slurring “He’s really nice isn’t he?” seeking the approval of my friends, who just look at me with complete disbelief “for Fucks sake Sooks, just leave it we’ve got to go” and all you could see was the trail of my coat as I was marched out of the establishment.
What is it about alcohol? Such a fine line between OK and piss head. And drugs are so much more acceptable these days anyway. Having a boozy lunch nowadays is frowned on, but if you disappear every now and then to shove white powder up your nose, from the back of the toilet (while ingesting about 78 urine samples) and come back down the corridor in a swagger talking like a twat then you’re daddy cool.
So I have decided that I wont drink alcohol. According to google, alcohol makes you put on weight. So that’s a bonus.
But has it made a difference? Its been 2 months now. Not really, but I have less embarassing memories, so I will stick with it.
Come to think of it, Im not ever so good at the POH or romantic relationships either. I could honestly say I have never had a long term relationships in the last 25 years, with the exception
Cats rock
of 15 years with Mr Darcy, my loyal cat. Longest was Jimmy, 5 years, and 11 years younger, and a fab bloke, but we just didnt fancy each other. Im not rubbish on purpose, you realise. I wonder if I am just a travelling Spinstrel destined to serial monogomy until the end of time.
But here’s a thing. I probably (except last few months) have more sex than my friends in a relationship, with less snoring and sleeping on the wet patch being woken up by smelly “put my head under the duvet for a laugh” farts and scratching, “gota cupa tea babe”
